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Divorce is not always easy because there are so many legalities involved in the process. Child custody, property settlements and parental responsibilities are some of the legal issues that come into the picture when getting a divorce. It can be mentally and emotionally taxing and the last thing you want to do is struggle with the process. A divorce lawyer comes in handy during this trying phase of your life. The divorce attorney represents and guides you through the process, making it easier for you to handle. But to enjoy a smooth process, you must find yourself a reliable attorney.

1. Talk to friends and relatives

2. Know what your needs are

3. Do your research

4. Create a budget

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Divorce Mediation

The collaborative process, started by Minneapolis family lawyer Stuart Webb in 1990, provides alternative dispute resolution using a team of professionals working jointly for the couple, rather than in adversarial roles. It is just now hitting the radar screen in Illinois, where practitioners estimate that about 300 divorces have been handled this way in the last several years. The state averages about 35,000 divorces a year, records show.

Both parties agree not to enter litigation. Couples often hire attorneys trained in collaborative law and bring in shared accountants, financial planners, business valuation experts, child psychologists and even life coaches to help the couple. Unlike impartial mediators, the attorneys can advise their clients as advocates.

Proponents say it dramatically cuts the tension--and the costs--involved in traditional contested divorces.

There are skeptics, however. Among the critics are those who say the peacefulness of the process encourages divorce and attorneys who say the best representation for any divorcing spouse is a vigorous offense.

If you are the primary breadwinner but are considering a lower-paying job as you go through the divorce transition years, tread carefully. Some judges will require you to maintain your family's previous standard of living. A judge may rule you're more than capable of a high earning power and decide to award less alimony.

Your portfolio: If you think you'll have to draw down some retirement money to cover expenses in the first few years of divorce, do it sooner rather than later, this way you can take a distribution at the time of divorce without a penalty,

Your tax return: Be sure to consider the tax consequences of your divorce settlement. The more money a primary breadwinner doles out as alimony instead of child support, the more he or she can deduct from income, experts say. The spouse receiving the alimony will have to pay income taxes on the money, but usually it will be at a lower tax bracket. Child support, on the other hand, isn't deductible from income.

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Many men ask, how can a man win in divorce court? If you are in a contested divorce and you and your ex are going to battle things out in divorce court, it is not a good place for either of you. As a man, you know you are at a disadvantage. The disadvantage is cultural to some degree but it is also in your mind set and you can fix all of it. You need your head straight going in.

In a contested divorce the big winners will be your divorce attorneys. They get paid for all of it, whether you win or lose. It is therefore important to examine the disagreements to really understand them and figure out if there is a way around them.

Taking a broader view of the whole process, like really looking at items that are in dispute, is one good strategy. Getting your mind off the little things and holding the mind set that you can win your divorce is another. As you realize that you can win your divorce with the right strategies, you can throw away the idea that you are at a disadvantage in divorce court. Many men hold that idea. The idea is a kind of a losers limp -- you know "I coulda got that run (in the big game) but I pulled a muscle. Did you see me limp into home?" You don't need that, learn the process and divorce strategy and win it.


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